Everyone Wants to Be Heard, But No One Wants to Listen!

I think one of the greatest needs of every person is to be heard. Although it is the greatest need of people, it is the least met needs, in my opinion. No one seems to listen anymore.

When we're hungry, someone will feed us. When we need a donation, people dig into their pocketbooks and pull out a few dollars. When we need someone to help us with a project, they are more than willing to give of their abilities and time to help them.

But . . . when we need someone to listen (really listen) not many can be found who are willing to stop what they're doing or thinking and give you their undivided attention. I've made it a habit of watching people when I'm talking to them and watching others in conversation. It's an interesting study and I've come to the conclusion that very few people REALLY listen when we're talking.

I know one person who when I start talking to them, they immediately reply with a response that basically makes what I've said not as important as what is going on in their life. If I were to mention what a hard day I've had, instead of sympathizing with me and giving me some encouragement, they respond with what's gone on in their day and it ALWAYS tops what I've just said! It makes me not even want to share what is going on in my life because I don't feel that they really care. They are only wrapped up in their own life and problems.

There are other people -usually they are of the male gender - who when I mention a problem, immediately have a solution or "fix" for it. To tell the truth, I usually know the answer and solution to my problems. That is not what I'm looking for. I just need to be heard, not fixed!

How many times do people ask you, "How are you doing?" as a greeting and when you begin to respond, their eyes are darting elsewhere and you can tell that their minds are somewhere else and not on hearing your response. Maybe that is why most of us reply "Fine" to that question and try not to take any more of their precious time.

I've tried to make a habit, when talking or listening to people, of looking them in the eyes and giving them all of my attention. That's not always easy with my ADD but I've found that when I do care and listen, it really makes an impact on that person. When someone really listens to me, it makes me feel so special and like I really count.

It's a lonely world out there! Many people are struggling with the burdens and cares of life and just need a little time to be heard and understood.

I heard something on "Oprah" today that was rather profound. In order to take money out of an account, you have to have put money in that account. It's the same way with people. If you want to be heard, you must first learn to listen!! It does have good dividends!!

Trying to listen more and talk less!
Beth